Fall From Grace
by alexanndria
Summary: 'You are cordially invited to the wedding of Councilor Meera Shepard and Prime Spectre Kaidan Alenko.' Shepard destroyed everything and they put a crown on her head. After the war, Shepard starts to lose favor in the public eye while attempting to mend the deterioration of her relationship and increased dehumanization by the media. It's starting to weigh on her. Just a little.


**i. perfect love affair**

The vid screen highlights the low shadows of Kaidan's aristocratic cheekbones as the dawning of the Citadel's day cycle fitters in through their bay window. His hair is wet - droplets inching down a strong jawline, fresh out of his morning shower - and he is already uniformed in his skin tight black under armor. His SPECTRE uniform gleaming with light on the couch beside him. Legs crossed and collar done right up his neck, he doesn't hear her enter the living room. Engrossed in his coffee, tall and black every morning, and his morning news.

_"With Councilor Shepard's fast approaching wedding, many have been wondering what sort of dress she will wear," Khalisah Al-Jilani says, voice emerging from the screen. "We've brought in an expert who is well versed on the councilor to clue us in on the latest news." Al-Jilani turns to her side, "Conrad?"_

_Conrad Verner's face appears on the screen. "Good morning Khalisah." he sounds as cheery as ever with his flesh colored beard trimmed to perfection. _

_"And good morning to you, Conrad. So? What can you tell us?"_

_"Well," Conrad leans forwards, as if to engage the viewers, "Shepard has always been prone to slimming black a-lines at events past. Even her Council induction caught her in that beautiful black T'Vani gown."_

_Khalisah gaps and puts a hand to her chest as a picture of Shepard folded into a long form fitting evening dress with long sleeves and modest shoulders appears on screen. "It was beautiful. But, we need details on the wedding."_

Shepard walks behind the couch, grabs the remote and changes the television to a mundane traffic report. Pulling her lips together as she throws the remote down. Few things irritated her as much as the media trying to dig it's way into her life. It's not a new occurrence, but that reality does not make it any less annoying. In fact in the year since the war ended, things had become much worse. And there was nothing she could do about it.

Kaidan finally seems to notice her presence, "Hey, I was watching that," he complains over the rim of his coffee container, not sounding at all torn up. He leans his chin up, hair wetting the lining on the back of the couch as she bends to give him a small peck. "Morning."

"Morning," Shepard says against his lips, before bending her body back upwards. She runs a tender hand through his curls before pushing his head forward playfully. "You know I hate when they nose into my personal life," she says, walking into the kitchen, shivering a bit as the frigid tiles meet her bare feet. Frowning as she realizes Kaidan drank all the coffee. _He never refills the damn cup_, Shepard thinks, searching through the cupboard for her Terra Nova beans, but settling for some asari tea blend.

"Aw, they're just curious," Kaidan says, "It's harmless."

"Oh yeah, wait until we're married and they start talking about you."

Kaidan just laughs, leans back again and closes his eyes. "They already talk about me," she hears him mutter with a chuckle.

Shepard eases into her mug with a smile, fully awake at last, "Besides shouldn't you already have your armor on, Mr. Prime SPECTRE?"

When Shepard was asked to join the Council, she knew that she needed to make changes to include the other races and control the rampant chaos and corruption running rife through the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance bureau. She had proposed the installation of an internal affairs department with one SPECTRE acting as a liaison to the Council. The other councilors, well Valern and Sparatus did - Tevos wasn't too keen on the idea, agreed that there was a need for it.

With the asari still on the outs of society, turians heralding her name as Palaven's savior and the salarians still in her team's debt for saving their councilor (along with the small matter of her saving the galaxy) her voice held a lot of weight in the decision making. Shepard wanted to make sure her choice was someone who would act with integrity, loyalty to the Council and someone that she trusted en masse. After she broke it down, in the same manner she does with all of her decision making - data pads full of pros and cons lists, there was only name she could nominate. Kaidan has held the job for about six months and she's never regretted her choice once.

"Just because you're your own boss doesn't mean you can be late," she continues, smoothing out her uniform dress as she stands before the couch, picking up a bracelet from the coffee table.

"I thought you were my boss, Madame Councilor." He pulls her down into his lap with a sharp tug, arms around her waist and face pressed into her neck as she squeals despite herself.

"That is true," she agrees with a whisper feeling his breath skitter softly against her face before, canting her head to move in closer, letting his lips capture hers. His mouth tastes bitter from his morning coffee and his hands are warm along her body. One hand is attempting to bunch her dress up while his other, eases it's way down her curves with splayed fingers. He cups a breast, palming her, his tongue seeking hers before she feels fingers on the flesh of her leg. "Mmn, Kai - Kaidan. I'm gonna be late," she tries to explain, tries to cut through the pleasure when his finger finds her warm center. She grips his hair tight, an aroused whimper formulating on her lips. She exposes her neck to him and he takes advantage of it, latching his mouth onto the skin there. "I hav - oh, fuck. I have that press conference today."

Kaidan angles his hips up and she can feel his rising arousal fighting against the fabric clutched to his skin. With her dress now gathered in a heap above her waist she can feel it slick against her heat, even more so when he starts rocking her body back and forth against him.

"I guess I have to be quick then." his whisper caresses her as his finger eases inside of her wetness, making her moan out. When he curls his digit, causing her to melt, Shepard hopes the elderly couple from 159A doesn't come knocking again.

_"Later on this morning, the Galactic Council will hold a press conference as was petitioned by many reporters to ask questions about the impending decision regarding the asari colonization of Eden Prime. It is not likely that we will get any concrete answers from the councilors at this time, but it might be a good opportunity to gage what their thoughts are on the matter. Stay tuned for a real time livestream here on the Midday Westerlund News."_

**ii. flashing lights**

"Madame Councilor, they're ready for you now." A frantic disembodied voice curves around the bend, causing Shepard to snap her head up from signing banal signatures. One of the many downsides of this job. Kaidan was lucky. Yeah sure, there's never really disturbances usually, but at least he gets to wave his gun around sometimes. Shepard feels naked without her armor, too used to the weight against her flesh, the under armor sucking itself into her skin. Mostly she misses how powerful she felt in it, now she just feels soft and entirely too weak. It's not pleasant.

An asari with white facial markings around her eyes and periwinkle skin charges through the door. Anova T'Har struck Shepard as sweet girl, if not a little too finicky at times. It was part of the Council's new race relations integration program. Tevos got a turian who could recite every single one of her children's allergies and favorite foods off the top of his head. Valern has a human female, a former - highly decorated - Alliance Admiral and an N4. Sparatus acquired a male salarian heralded for exemplary work on the Crucible and Shepard had learned from Sparatus' flashy society dinners, he happened to be a very good cook. And Shepard? Shepard got...Anova. Who apparently can never seem to remember any of Shepard's appointments or anything for that matter.

"Settle down." Shepard says, rising slowly with forced calm, taking care to dust the irritation off her dress. "What have I told you about being so high strung? You need to mellow out."

The press conference she was to attend today is in regards to asari colonization, trying to find a suitable home environment after the destruction of Thessia. She had discovered not many planets are habitable for Asari life making it difficult for them to find a permanent home. Until, a group of Asari scientists found the environment of Eden Prime was kind to their genetic makeup. They pleaded to the Council to allow them permission to colonize. While Shepard didn't agree with the colonization she did not want to shoot them down so easily. So, the Council choose to deliberate on the matter.

Which is what set off the human riots. First in Eden Prime, then spreading to Terra Nova. Now, there were talks of unrest in Horizon as well. Shepard had started a Colonial liaison office on the Citadel about a year ago, one of the firsts things she had done, to help better Council and Alliance relations with the human colonies. She's been told that the colonists are angry and afraid that their worlds will be taken over. Damning themselves for trusting the Alliance again. With Tevos breathing various favors down her back and the riots reaching a fever pitch, Shepard isn't sure what she must do. So she doesn't do anything but sit back and watch and she hates it. It makes her wonder when was the day she transformed into every other politician she had known.

"Well, they've been ready for about an hour." comes Anova's voice in a meek whisper.

"What?" Shepard trips over disoriented feet in her haste to move around the desk, eyes narrowing, fighting to stop her arms from grabbing the maiden by the neck. "Why the hell didn't you tell me that before?" Anova opens her mouth, but then pulls her lips together. Shepard tries to calm herself with a deep breath,"Actually, forget it. Mistakes happen right?" Shepard runs a hand through her short obsidian curls, trying not to let her irritation get the better of her. "Let's go."

Shepard strides past her assistant, who automatically falls into step behind her. She holds out her hands for the notes she had taken last night. The colony demands were steep. They practically want a dividing line, which Shepard can not authorize without fear of outcry from the other Council races. _The humans are not sharing. _She can already hear the whiny news reporters echoing through her head. Sometimes she felt less like an esteemed Councilor and more like a kindergarten teacher. Shepard steels her shoulders, straightens her back and paints a smiles onto her face as she prepares for her entrance.

The flashing camera lightshow blinds her when she steps in through the double doors. She feels Sparatus' talon on her arm, as he guides her up with a steady grip, not missing the chance to flash her as disapproving look. "Ah yes, Shepard has finally joined us."

Shepard forces a charming smile for him, "Ah yes, you know me. Never on with the clock but always on time. Mostly. My significant other might beg to differ on that." This earns her a laugh from the throng of reporters, Shepard pointedly avoids Tevos' gaze. "Sorry to keep everyone waiting."

She stands above the congregation of pad toting denizens on her platform, with head raised to the heavens and a self assured smirk her sword and scepter as the crowd gazes upon her with wonder.

When she was young, her mother had told her never to destroy. Don't destroy your model ships, sweetie. Don't destroy that Montgomery boy's heart. Don't destroy yourself over this conspiracy. But in the end she did destroy, destroyed everything she has set out to and it has made a her a goddess in human flesh. She had done nothing but watch civilizations crumble, witnessing allies around her fall, pressed one button at the end of it all and they crowned her for it.

Shepard spots Kaidan in the flock, not far from the edge of the platform stairs, decked out in full dark blue armor with his arms crossed and a knowing smirk on his face. He shakes his head once as he notices her gaze, mouthing something she cannot make out. Shepard smiles at him regardless, a small break in her professional facade.

"Councilor Shepard, what are your thoughts on the issue?"

Shepard turns to a turian reporter, snapping back to attention. "Well as of right now, because decision making is still taking place, I'd like to keep a neutral stance on the matter. When we reach consensus, you will be the first to know." she smiles.

"Well, if we can't ask you about that - can we ask about other things?" A statuesque asari asks with a head cant.

"Um, sure. I suppose that's alright." Shepard says, "Not about the wedding though." she perks up with a finger wave, "I'd like to keep at least a few things private." Another round of chuckles.

"Of course not, Madame Councilor." The asari reporter has a smile on her face that makes Shepard want to crawl into herself. It is wicked with a sweetness, dripping through her, an acid eroding her confidence through and through. "But speaking of, personal life that is, I just wanted to know what are your thoughts on the rumors that your fiance Alliance Major Kaidan Alenko only got awarded the newly minted Prime SPECTRE position because of his relationship with you? When many say that there were others far more qualified for the station."

Shepard's smile falls, the corners of her mouth dropping off slowly, viridian eyes widening with the unexpected question. She looks at Kaidan, even after telling herself not to. He has pushed himself off of the wall, hands falling to his sides with a sharp glare. His mouth has turned up into a snarl, which doesn't come down until she shakes her head at him. Saying with her eyes: "I'm fine. I can handle it."

"Um, well, I don't know where you would hear such nasty rumors, but I assure you, Prime SPECTRE Alenko is more than qualified. I can vouch for him myself."

"You mean like you vouched for former Councilor David Anderson, before he abandoned the Council?" Another voice pipes up.

"Well, tha -."

Yet, another voice. "What about the reports that the Williams family is seeking reparations for your actions at Virmire? Did your fraternization end up in the death of any other members of your crew we weren't privy to?"

_'No, no, no. That isn't right,'_ thinks Shepard as she places a hand to her forehead, which feels like it's about to burst open . _'They wouldn't.'_ There is a sudden pain in her chest, stabbing her in succession, a rusty knife dug into her ribcage, dragging itself against her, slicing her open. The barrage of questions doesn't stop and the crowd gets louder and more personal in their assault. Fueled by each others flagrancy. Questions about her family, her friends, the carefully constructed professional respect for her disappearing. The resentment returning.

The cameras are suddenly too bright, illumination flickers around the edges of her paherprial. The lights are staring down on her; they can see her weakness through the lenses, she knows it. She is starting to feel sick. The walls are starting to crumble. Her breathing picks up, until she is heaving out breaths, desperate for air she can't seem to capture in her lungs. Her body starts to tremble and she feels a chill pass through her bones, blood turning to ice water in her veins.

Shepard looks back towards her colleagues to defend her, to say something, do something. Sparatus looks around confused at the turn of events no doubt, Valern shies back assessing - most likely trying to avoid a pile up on himself, Tevos is - she's smiling at her, tilting her head to the side. Silently asking: _how are you going to slip your way out of this one?_

"Move. Get out of my way." Kaidan orders, she hears his voice through the haze before her eyes find him, because she can't see past the brilliance before her, until she blinks it out. He's pushing his way through the mob, a bellicose air about him, daring anyone to halt his path, causing the C-SEC officers surrounding him to respond in turn. "Vakarian, take the councilors back to their chambers. We're done here."

Then, Shepard is aware of her legs moving, aware of more yelling and keenly aware of Kaidan's firm hand grasping her elbow. Steering her away. His body shielding hers from the chaos. After some walking, heels clicking through a hollowed hallway, she's pulled into a room, with a sprawling view of the presidium, she assumes is her office. But, she can't concentrate enough. She places the heels of her palms into her eyes, trying to rub out the flash.

"Breathe, Shepard." Kaidan's hands are warm clasped around her shoulder, the world still spins around her, and she opens her eyes, gripping his upper arms with trembling fingers.

Shepard looks up at him. Kaidan is angry, she can tell from the vein bulging out of his neck and his narrowed eyes, but his face is showing far more concern for her than enmity for previous events.

"I'm fine. Really, I am," She assures him. He wraps his arms around her fully, pulling her into an embrace. Her palms come to a rest on the middle of his back, seeking all the comfort she can through the heavy armor. "They couldn't mean that, could they? About Ash's family. I spoke to her mother myself. I told her that we honored Ashley. That I owe her my life and the success of the mission."

"Well, the Williams' are not big fans of the Alliance. Never have been," Kaidan starts, sounding cynical as always, making Shepard pull back stare at him with a frown. "But, I'm sure this is all a big misunderstanding," he amends. "You know those vultures will say anything to rile you up."

Shepard _'hmm'_s, and sighs, pressing her face closer to his body, his chin coming to rest atop a crown of hair, finally calm and content to stay in Kaidan's embrace where nothing can hurt her.

_"Councilor Shepard is down in recent public opinion polls after her dismal show at the press conference held earlier this week. Viewers have called in to say that the councilor is too brash and doesn't understand the subtle games of politics. Some even say that maybe it's time for a permanent retirement. More of this story: 'Shepard: Does she deserve our respect for saving the galaxy or must she earn it like every other politician?', on the 10 o'clock Westerlund Nightly News. "_

**iii. bliss**

The bath water has yet to run cold around their bodies, but her fingers have already started to prune. Shepard sighs with contentment, leaning back into Kaidan as he molds his fingers into her shoulder while kissing the knob of her spine, taking care to trace his tongue around the scars that she think will never fully heal. Sometimes she thinks she doesn't want them too. A reminder of the blast full of red, of the sacrifice.

"I don't understand what more they want me to do." Shepard lifts a hand to her forehead, causing water to slip over the mouth of the tub. "I sacrificed everything to save these ungrateful bastards, but you would never know it with the way they treat me."

Kaidan makes a casual _'hmmm' _noise, slipping his hands down to the curve of her waist. She adjusts, giving his hands access to explore her. "They're horrid," he mutters absent mindedly.

"True." Shepard pauses. " I'm never going to be the councilor they want. I'm never going to kiss babies, or smile all the time, or - or." Shepard stops, "I'm never going to _be_ Tevos. Which exactly what I know they want."

"Mmhm." Kaidan's hands come up to cup her breasts under the water.

"Ka -Kaidan, are you even listening to me?" Shepard turns her neck back, staring up at him. His eyes are closed and there is a large mischievous grin spread along his face.

"Yes, I'm listening to everything you're saying. You were talking about everyone doesn't appreciate you even though _I_ think you're amazing," he kisses her cheek, "and beautiful," then he kisses the corner of her mouth, "and my opinion is the only one that should matter."

"Hmm, good save." Shepard twists her torso, placing a hand behind his neck, pulling his face into hers. She feels him smile through the kiss, before he places his arm around her waist, drifting her body closer. Shepard allows herself to collapse under his tongue against the roof of his mouth, letting a soft moan escape her chest.

Kaidan pulls back, just enough to look at her, he runs a hand through her curls and says against her lips, "You haven't been taking good care of your hair, sweetling." A teasing smile, he knows how much she detests that damn nickname. Which is most likely the reason he keeps using it, sometimes Shepard thinks that Kaidan gets off on seeing her unfurled. "if you insist on growing it out, you should treat it better."

"_Sweetling_. You know I hate that." Shepard turns and leans back onto his chest, "and you're starting to sound like my damn hairdresser. The long hair wasn't my idea anyway. She thought it would make me look more regal. One of these days I'm going to cut it all off again."

Kaidan reaches behind him, she hears the snap of a bottle top, before it clinks against the wall shelf. Then there is a chill when lather hits her scalp. His fingers become the wind in her hair as they run through it, calming her. A comfortable silence settles around them, leaving Shepard to think of nothing but his hands in her hair and his lips on her skin. Soon, he downs water over her head to chase away the suds, making sure every spot has been cleansed with the meticulous precision she has come to associate him with.

"You know that dress I have to wear?" Shepard asks, thinking about it.

"The peace offering one? That's magically supposed to mend human and asari relations." Kaidan deadpans, exactly like the head of the Small Council did when they announced to her that she should turn her wedding into a political campaign.

"Yes, that one." Shepard trails her finger along the surface of the water.

"What about it?"

"It came today. They finally finished it." Shepard pulls herself onto her knees, pulling her heavy wet hair over her shoulder, "Do you want to see?"

"Sure."

"You don't sound very enthused."

Kaidan's eyes light up as they widen with feigned interest, "Oh yes, I'm just dying to see it. Please show me." He claps his hand together in front of himself for good measure.

"Very cute. Okay, I'll be right back." Shepard hoists her body up with two arms pushing against the mouth of the bath. She grabs a towel on her way to their closet, fighting the chill climbing it's way through her bones, taking care not to get too much water on the floor. She wasn't currently in the mood for Kaidan's complaining. The closet lights come on as soon as she enters and the first thing she sees gives her pause.

Her scuffed and damaged violaceous N7 armor, dull underneath the bright fluorescence. Her breath leaves her and just the sight of it gives her pause. She reaches out a tentative hand to touch, as if it would spring life and admonish her. How long had it been since the weave touched her skin, since she could hide herself under the plating? Would it even fit her anymore? Shepard runs her hands down her body, rounded curves, slim - not fit - stomach and thicker breasts. She had put on a bit of weight in the past few months. Well, a _bit_ was an understatement. Kaidan keeps reminding her it's due to stress and she wants to believe him, really she does. That it's not her turned herself into some washed up old vet with nothing but stories about her golden years.

She wants to see herself in it again. To be a warrior where no one could question her skill, or have licence to disrespect her. She feels guilt in knowing she wants the war back, admitting that she misses it. She's worn the mask of a warrior for so long, she's forgotten who she actually was under it all.

"Shepard?" She hears Kaidan call out, hears him exiting the water.

"I'll be right out," she says quickly, hoping he doesn't come in after her. When she doesn't hear footsteps she turns to what she came in for.

The wedding dress hangs across the room, near the darkened back corner. Shepard approaches it, igniting their extra lamps with a snap. Traces her hands down the smooth golden fabric, trimmed lace edges, admiring the way it flares at the bottom. It's easy to put on and beautiful. But all she can think about is that it should be red and gold, like the sari her mother married in and her grandmother before that. Every time she looks at the garment she's only reminded of how much control she doesn't have over something that is supposed to be extremely personal to her. Or so she's been told by Kaidan's mother, through snarky side quips. She presses it out with her palms, and sure, she enjoys the way it curves to her form and to her movements, following her, it reminds her of ocean waves, the way bends. But it's not meant for her. It is just another costume for the production and she's expected to play her part. It doesn't take anything to slip it over her body, she lifts her damp hair into a pile at the top of her head, securing it with a nearby chopstick.

"Here it is." Shepard steps out of the closet, twisting from side to side, letting the fabric surround her. Kaidan is sitting on the edge of the tub, wiping up the water puddle she made with a towel at his feet, adorned in a blue and white robe now. He's staring at her, albeit strangely. _Doesn't he like it? _She's knows Kaidan is not a fan of exorbitant lavishness. Shepard scratches the edge of her amp port self consciously, to calm herself. "Kaidan, say something please."

"You look breathtaking." Kaidan pulls his lips together.

"Oh no, no no." Shepard walks up to him, placing a finger on his lips, recognizing the look he's giving her. "Save the tears for the wedding, _sweetling_," she mocks.

The kiss that follows is sweet, until he pulls her down on his lap, sliding his hands up and down the dress in wonder. "Remind me to thank whoever it is that made this dress." he whispers against her lips.

"Noted."

A different song comes up from their expansive stereo system, disturbing the ambience. The melody reminds her of some of the vintage power ballads she had heard her mother hum once or twice when her parents could still stand each other.

"Oh, I love this song." Kaidan perks up, standing up with her in his arms.

"Really?" she says with a flat tone and a twist of her mouth

"Yes really." Kaidan slides his fingers through hers, swinging their arms from side to side, a boyish grin on his face. "Dance with me."

"Don't you think we should save the first dance in this dress, oh I don't know, for the wedding?"

"Nah," Kaidan bends his head, slinging her arms around his neck before placing his on the curves of her waist, slowly swaying them from side to side, choosing to ignore Shepard's protesting moan,_ 'you know I don't dance.'_ "Besides, I can't do this at the wedding." He drops his palm down on her backside, causing a yelp and a jump, and a small affronted: _'hey!' _He doesn nothing but chuckle at her.

"This is true." Shepard leans her neck back, watching him cant his head from side to side in time with their movements, which are not at all in time with the music, making it all the more endearing to her.

"Shepard, forget about the damn reporters and Tevos and everything else except you and I." He opens his eyes, "Smile." She shakes her head stubbornly, pulling her lips in to fight the wide grin threatening to break her face, "Do it or I'll start singing; and that's way worse than your dancing." When she doesn't budge, he starts horribly off key, _"No, baby please don't go."_

Shepard attempts to hold back the laugh, stifling a chuckle emerging through. She moves one hand from his shoulder to slap it across her mouth and she's sure her eyes are twinkling with her merriment. "You sound horrible."

"Oh look. There it is." Kaidan teases, and Shepard tries to hide her smile in his chest, placing her palm back into the curve of his collarbone, but she's betrayed by her shoulders shaking. "You're so beautiful when you smile." he pulls his head back from her, their bodies still pressed together, "I love you so much."

Shepard kisses him, tilting her head and perching herself up onto her toes. "Kaidan Alenko, you make me very very happy."

"Good to know." He doesn't say anything else, but Shepard is sure he knows her language well enough by now when he kisses the top of her head. Shepard yelps, another loud laugh escaping as he dips her dramatically.

Shepard spots her scuffed armor on the edge of their closet in the corner of her eyes. She falls back into Kaidan when he pulls her up and tells herself she doesn't miss it.

**iv. love lockdown **

Pretty blue birds, newly released into the presidium skies as a gift from the salarian dalatrass, recite a charming morning melody under the bright artificial sun beaming over their heads. Shepard watches the birds until they cast out their wings and fly into clear skies. She envies their freedom. She is a daughter of warriors, a goddess of the battle who has been resigned to spend the rest of her days behind four walls, discussing politics. She enjoys the power of the position but little else. Shepard isn't sure what she had done to anger the makers of the universe - but they must be furious with the way they continue to punish her.

"Shepard," Tevos' voice brings her out of her thoughts. "Are we boring you?"

Shepard sits upright in her seat, "Not yet." she answers with a saccharine smile she knows Tevo will see right though.

Tevos has never forgiven Shepard for the mess that happened on Thessia. The news of what asari matriarchs had hidden there for what was probably decades came to back to bite them. The other council races were not sure if they wanted to send aid to Thessia and the asari suffering there as penance. A few months after the war the krogan had been granted an embassy on the Citadel and invited to join a small Council that Shepard had overseen the creation of. It was another, slightly less powerful, political voting party that would give voices to more Citadel races and the ambassadors. They had not forgotten the asari bowing out of their crusade to cure the genophage, Wrex and Tevos were prone to _words_ anytime they were in a room together.

This new age of peace has not been kind to the asari. When the issue of disaster funds for Thessia had come across the table in one Small Council meeting, the beacon was taken into account as well as the refusal attend the summit and to aid the krogan in their attempts at a genophage cure. Shepard remembers sitting on the council podium next to Tevos as they told her to her face; seeing as the asari could sit back idly and worry about nothing but their own, the small council would grant them the same treatment. Her face never showed any emotion, impassive as it always was, but Shepard knew there was hatred behind those eyes. And as creator of the small Council, she endured the brunt of it. Shepard didn't want to damn civilians for the actions of few, but her hands were tied.

"Well," Tevos starts, "We need to make a decision about the colonization."

"Which we cannot do without Sparatus here." Shepard leans back in her chair. The turian councilor had left to take care of political matter in Palaven, says it was urgent he depart immediately. "Or would you rather do it anyway, knowing you won't face his opposition."

"Shepard is correct, Tevos." Valern says, "It would be unfair."

"Very well." Tevos concedes, "But we need to make a decision on this soon. My people are suffering on Thessia. Not that Shepard cares much."

Shepard shifts, watching Tevos through her peripheral, "What makes you think I don't care. I care about the asari just as much as I care about my own people. Don't we all. Isn't that what is making this decision so hard?"

"Shepard, you can wear all the asari dresses you like and try to follow our customs as some sort of peace offering, but I assure you no one is fooled." Tevos lifts her head just so, looking down on Shepard with surety and condensation in her stare. "Just look where you are in the asari public opinion polls. Especially after that show last week. The asari are not fans of political scandal. We think it unsightly. You are nothing more than a babe, drowning in her mother's fabric. A child pretending to be something she's not."

Shepard doesn't let the dig phase her, "You're not too high up in public opinion yourself, Tevos."

Valern looks back and forth between them. Alway choosing to be the innocent bystander.

"The asari people may despise me now, probably just for a season. And you may hold the most power on this council, but they will never, never ever, grant you favor," Tevos says, "Especially not after what that mate of yours just did."

Shepard purses her lips, narrowing eyes with underlying warning to peer into Tevos, "What are you talking about?"

"Oh, my. He hasn't told you?" Tevos places a hand to her chest in mock horror, "And I thought you two were the sort that divulged every single detail about your menial lives to one another." She turns to Valern, "Isn't that what the humans revere as _'true love'. _Or do you not have that, Shepard?"

"Alenko and I are very skilled at keeping our personal and professional lives separate. So, cut the bullshit and tell me."

Tevos stands, "Just know that his dismissal of one of the oldest and most revered asari SPECTREs isn't going to win you anymore benignity."

_'What?' _Shepard thinks, trying not to let the surprise show on her face. Her face remains motionless but her fingers grip the edge of the table hard while she takes in the information. _'Why would he -'_

"If you'll excuse me, if we have nothing more to do here, I must leave. I look forward to the meeting we will have when Sparatus returns." Tevos exists with Valern on her heels like a dutiful puppy. Shepard knows Tevos has him right underneath her thumb, it was pure luck that Sparatus was in her corner. Or maybe it was because he felt as if he still owed her a debt. Either way Shepard would not contest the help. Valern affords her a nod before he crosses the door.

The door closes and Shepard's face contorts with rage. After all of the work she has put in to make sure something like this wouldn't happen. The interviews, the speeches, the promises that she has the asari's best interests at heart. They would not forgive her for this. The asari held the few high ranking figures they had left in extreme reverence. Shepard runs a hand through her hair, trying to calm her nerves. She raises from her seat as Anova runs in, a stack of datapads piled high in her hands.

"Ma'am, a present just came from a Dr. T'Soni. I think it's an early wedding gift. It's a new skycar. A very good model reviews sa -"

Shepard pauses on her way out of the room, "Why didn't she give it to me herself?"

"Oh, well she said that she was going on a journey with the prothean starting tomorrow and won't be back until... Actually she didn't say when. But, I think it's after the wedding." Anova places a finger on her chin.

"And she didn't want to tell me herself because she knew I would be upset. I can't do this right now, I have something else to deal with." Shepard decides to deal with Liara later. This is not the first time she and Javik had run off to explore the galaxy. Both of them had bonded over their wonders of the universe. Shepard envied them, sometimes she wished she could pick up and disappear for a season. Especially during a time like this.

"Um, ma'am? Where do you want me to put the skycar?"

Shepard sighs, "Just take it to my garage. We can turn it into my personal reporter getaway car if it's fast enough."

"I don't think it's fast enough for tha -. Wait, was that a joke?" Anova stops behind her, when Shepard pauses to dust off her robes.

"Yes, I've been known to make them from time to time." Shepard says deadpan, moving forward and making her way around the bend, "Oh and get Alenko's assistant on a call."

"We're almost in front of the office."

"Yes, but you can be a distraction."

Anova frowns, looking confused causing Shepard to grab her wrist and punch in the call on the asari's omni-tool herself. The chipper voice of Kaidan's front desk clerk comes up on the line. She starts talking to Avova about some morning gossip, making Shepard roll her eyes and Anvoa to shrug.

"Well, look who has decided to show her face after that show last week." A voice calls out, sliding over Shepard's spine and furrowing into her fingers. Shepard clenches them.

A tall asari rounds the corner, with a regal carriage and an eternal white dress fitting for a Citadel diplomat. Nassa was an asari matriarch, a highly regarded one at that. probably the one who had gotten Anova her job, Shepard thinks to herself bitterly, but knows she has no room to complain about nepotism considering her own background with the service. The amount of asari politicians suddenly surrounding her was starting to give Shepard pause. It made her feel like one of those presidium birds, as if they were trapped in a cage to be poked and prodded at. What did it matter that the cage was made out of gold, if you couldn't escape it.

"Good afternoon, Nassa." Shepard hears herself squeak out, before she coughs to cover her unease.

"It looks like I've procured an invitation to this _'wedding'_ of yours." Nassa turns to walk away, clearly having no time to waste on Shepard - who counts her blessings where she receives them, "I'm sure it will be an event to die for."

She disappears around the corner before Shepard can get another word in. Shepard brushes it off, continuing her stride. Trying to fight her annoyance. Yet another thing about this wedding, no - political campaign, she didn't control. The guestlist. The amount of people she didn't know and or enjoy their company, that had approached her about their excitement for her wedding and how honored they were to be attending was staggering. Anova continuously chats into her omni tool, behind her as the door to the office opens and she strides through.

"I know it's so -. Madame Councilor, you can't go in there. He's in a meeting with the Executor." Kaidan's assistant jumps out of her seat, tripping over herself as she tries to avoid the holo console. Shepard sees her face adorning a cover of Citadel Weekly with some story about her and something about an affair with some turian diplomat ornamenting her desk. Kaidan probably got a good laugh out of that.

"I'm the reason you're still breathing. I can do whatever the hell I want to," Shepard throws over her shoulder as she brushes past. Eyes on the prize.

The large door opens when she punches in the override code Kaidan had given to her for emergencies. But, only after she told him she would just find it out with her Council access. Kaidan probably had the foresight to try and avoid situations exactly like this one. As she enters Kaidan's face transform from contemplation to surprise to irritation in the space of a single second. The other inhabitant of the room, a turian with ridges marring his face plate, turns in the large chair before the desk.

"Shepard?" The Executor speaks before Kaidan does, lingering on the vowels, "Long time no see."

"Cut the small talk, Vakarian. Now is not the time." She turns to Kaidan, eyes blazing. "You couldn't have waited a few more weeks before you attempted to dismiss her. Why do it? Why? Why now? You know the bullshit I'm gonna get when this comes out." Kaidan is unfazed and she has no doubt he knows exactly to what she's referring.

Her assumptions are proved correct when he lets out a dramatic sigh, heaving shoulders and everything, leaning back in that cushy chair of his. "I can't tell you. It's classified." He tilts his head at her.

Shepard slaps her hands down on the desk, making the contents on top shake with the force. "I was also SPECTRE at one time if you are mistaken and I'm also the reason you have this me."

Kaidan makes a show of taking his time to right the paper weight she had knocked over, before he speaks in that slow deliberate tone of his where his voice evens out and it's a lot less gravely. She hates it because it always makes her feel as if he's talking to a disobedient child and he's used it on her much too often. "She bombed an entire volus colony in hopes of killing one, just one, of the mafia members who owned the Cherk Sab fuel depot. She's also doesn't listen to my command, she probably would resent any new internal affairs authority the SPECTREs acquire, preferring the times when they were lawless. D'Rana is another Saren waiting to happen, but I'm not going to wait to see if I'm right."

"Shit." Shepard pulls herself back from the - imported- oak desk, running her palms down her collarbone as she groans. She turns to Garrus who just shrugs, a human habit he's picked up from Kaidan no doubt. The two are required to spend plenty of time together with the way their jobs coincide, which comes with it's set own problems.

"Exactly. So, I'll afford you two weeks to come up with some sort excuse that will damn D'Rana in the eyes of the public without me having to release classified documents." Kaidan rests a sharp elbow down on the desk, placing his chin in his palm.

"No, can't do that. I need at least a month." Shepard perching her hands on her hips, "Do you know how long it would take for Liara to cough up that sort of information now that all her channels are still blocked. I need mo -."

"Two. Weeks."

Shepard knows that Kaidan can be aggravatingly inflexible when it comes to his job, as is evidenced time and time again, but it never fails to grate on her nerves. "Fine."

Kaidan nods and gives her a small salute when she moves to exit.

"Nice seeing you Shepard," Garrus calls out, with a laugh.

"Shove it Vakarian."


End file.
